What is a yandere?
Warning: It may contain spoilers, depending on your perception
A “yandere” is a character in anime that comes off as a sweet, loving person. But once you lay a finger or even think about their love interest in front of them.
Be prepared to get hurt by that girl because she is romantically obsessed with him.
How obsessed?
He/she will go to lengths to make sure their love interest is theirs. Even kill their family. A common example is Yuno Gasai from Mirai Nikki(Future Diary):
Seems innocent and cute.
And this is what happens when you touch Yukiteru.
Or worse…
Another example is Shion Sonozaki from Higurashi(When They Cry).
Seems normal, and the art style is cute!! Maybe that means it’s a kids’ ani—
How crazy she goes after Satoshi “dies” to go and murder people.
(If you do not like horror and think this is for kids, trust me, it is not! I made the same mistake, and then I watched the nail-ripping scene[ugh, that still makes me want to vomit.)
Other than that, these are examples of some yandere and what they are. I hope I broke it down well for you!
Edit: I just remembered that I need to clear up something. If anime characters are unbelievable like this for no reason, that is a yangire, not a yandere. But they are similar; they both seem loving and caring on the outside but have a psychopathic intention on the inside.
Yanderes do it out of love or obsession, while yangires do it just for their pleasure, for no reason, or are just crazy.
An example of a yang fire is Seryu Ubiquitous from Akame ga Kill(Red-Eye Kill):
I thought she would be one of the people that spares mercy on others from the evil side…
And then her face when she plans to brutally kill one of the characters just a few episodes in. So that is the difference between a yangire and a yandere, so you don’t get confused!
What Is Yandere?
Put, Yandere is a type of character troupe (used mostly in Japanese anime/manga) who expresses their love for someone in a very disturbing and obsessive way.
Yanderu means “to be sick”, and Deredere means “lovestruck” (in this pairing of the word). Without getting too deep into the meaning of the word, I will explain briefly what a yandere is.
A Yandere is a character (mostly female but known to be male) who is so obsessively in love with someone that they will do anything to protect them. Even if this means actually killing them because of “potential harm”.
A Yandere is known to stalk their victim and steal items. Of their clothing and create a shrine-like area in their home dedicated to all things related to their victim.
If someone is called a Yandere, it usually means they show real-life examples of the exaggerated anime Yandere.
This includes downloading tracking devices on their phone or computer, stalking them via their Google email account, looking at their third phone and calling back unknown numbers, not allowing them to speak to anyone of the gender that they are attracted to, throwing fits whenever they spend time with family or friends, or even hurting them and then claiming they wouldn’t have done so If they didn’t “love them so much”.
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Sometimes, people glamorize this sort of relationship, but in reality, it is abusive and not love. It is creepy. It feels good to know someone admires you to such a degree, but it really only means that person is suffering mentally in some way, shape, or form.
Especially as a teenager, people who act this way usually have overbearing or protective parents who have unintentionally taught their kids that love is when someone loses their cool and screams/shouts only because they are so worried for their safety.
Check out the tsundere instead. They wear a Yandere mask but literally never go through with the behaviours and actions because their heart loves deeply.
Why do people like Yandere’s characters?
I’m not a qualified psychologist because if someone is so obsessively in love with you, you don’t have to worry about getting dumped.
You can sit back, relax and let yourself be showered with love and adoration. The only thing you need to do is be faithful.
Is it unhealthy to find “yandere”-type lovers attractive?
Not at all. I do, too. There is just something appealing about someone actually willing to kill, literally, to be with you.
You have to sit back, relax and surrender yourself to your partner. There’s no need to worry about getting dumped cause a yandere can’t live without you.
Have you ever met a real-life yandere?
Yes, She was my best friend. We were both otakus, little weirdos, you know, making inappropriate jokes. Sketching together, eating sweets, being hungry potatoes. Sounds cringe. Well, that was us. I’ll call her “Rei”.
Me and I met in grade 6, and my mom moved to this small northern town to teach high school students. That’s where we met in that town filled with the wicked. Rei was clearly the soft and shy type, as I saw, the kind you’d probably hate.
I did in the beginning, but I let her off the hook because we had similar interests and got along well. After a year of getting under her skin, she opened up more and got weirder. When she would visit, she always lay on my bed; once, I caught her looking in my clothing drawers.
She even stole my pillowcase when she slept over. I found that to be disgusting. Entering 7th grade after that fiasco of a summer break. Everything went back to the way it once was, Yet this girl’s act was getting worse and worse every day. One day in September, I had enough; I broke things off.
After that, she didn’t show up to school for a few days, and then I got called to the office. They started getting angry with me. I was confused, and I had to ask what was going on. “This girl’s mother phoned the school yelling and ranting that you were going to beat her daughter up”.
The principal inserted her name there, and now I was confused as f*ck! Like, first of all, where did that all come from? And second, I just told her I didn’t want to be friends anymore (insert every personal thing that she took from me, plus the weird acts.) The principal then calmed down to an extent, told me that he would file and call my parents about this, and sent me to class.
Afterwards, I went home, and you know that spine-crawling feeling when you are being watched intensely. Yeah, I had that feeling all the way home, and I’m also not one to get paranoid. When I was turning the corner to my house, I looked behind me; there she was… Just a few feet away.
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How can I be a yandere?
Gee, I see you want to wear orange clothes for the rest of your life or end up on death row.
Becoming a yandere means madly falling in love with someone, stalking them instead of confessing, then going violent and murdering their possible romantic interests, friends and relatives (after all, your beloved is only meant to spend time with YOU and no one else), kidnapping your beloved and then fending off swat teams with axes, homemade explosives and poison.
There’s nothing cute about Yandere in real life, as a Yandere is beyond a mere “crazy ex”; it is a straight-up lunatic.
I suggest finding another archetype to follow. Yandere is not really compatible with a sane society.
What would you do if you had 2 or more yanderes after you?
You’re f*cked. Your only way out is to kill all of them before they inevitably kill you (or maim you for life).
Barring that, hope your Yandere is satisfied with sawing off your legs and strapping you to a chair so you can’t ever run away from her again.
Are there any recorded cases of real yanderes?
Well, I’m not recorded, but I am a real yandere; everyone thinks it’s so cool and that we’re all super cringe-worthy, but to be completely honest, if you’re a REAL yandere and not just fishing for attention, you’re a bit calmer than the ones who are fishing for attention.
If it counts, I will tell you What makes me a “yandere”. You could start with the fact of emptiness that comes. When you have one to like/the person you like is not around, you don’t feel sad; it’s just empty.
It isn’t upsetting, but I do prefer when I am talking to my boyfriend/when he’s around or even just online because I know he’s alive. I would not go as far as killing anyone or killing him because I just want him to be happy.
I prefer his happiness over mine, as I care for him a lot and even being his friend is good enough. I can’t help but think of what I would do to someone if they hurt him, though. I try not to, but I can’t help it.
Though I would hurt someone very badly, I know deep inside I wouldn’t feel bad about it. I can’t exactly feel guilt, and I get excited when someone who hurts my boyfriend cries or gets hurt.
But it isn’t very fun feeling these ways, as it can make others scared of you, but honestly, I don’t mind if anyone’s scared of me; it only makes my ability to protect him easier if others are scared of me. I guess if I really desired, I could kill someone and not feel bad about it if it were for his sake.
Suppose you’re wondering about the emptiness and wondering if I feel anything for family, no. I don’t feel anything for my family other than cold and emptiness. I’ve learned to pretend emotions for the sake of others, but I can turn them off as I please.
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I really hope this helps someone learn what it’s like being a yandere. And to all of you guys who want a “yandere girlfriend”, can you actually stop? My boyfriend got my attention just by being himself and not being obsessed with Yanderes. He didn’t even know I was one until he mentioned how his ex hurt him, and I flipped out.
So please stop wanting a Yandere girlfriend if you can’t handle the extra baggage they carry and their mental disorders.
Most yanderes had something happen when they were children to make them be the way they are, and they can usually force certain emotions whenever they want, and that makes them very good liars and manipulators. We are not all horrible people or psychopaths.
Where can I find a yandere girlfriend?
A psycho girl that becomes obsessed with you to the point of killing?
Look for groups of boys talking about abusive ex-girlfriends girls like the “Overly Attached Girlfriend”. I don’t know if you will find a Yandere girlfriend there, but there are some characteristics they have in common, like the obsession over their lovers and the lack of common sense and respect for the space of others.
They will create false profiles on social media to control you and follow your every step. They can become very unstable and do bad things, like blackmail, harassment, and so on. Some will try to cage you, making you lose contact with friends and family.
Are you sure you want a yandere girlfriend?
You can’t find a yandere girlfriend. They find you. Probably, she is a stalker who doesn’t talk to you but has an altar with photos of you taken without you knowing. Maybe if you show interest in a normal girl, she will harass her and make life threats to her, and that’s a way to find those psychos.
Or perhaps she is your current girlfriend, and it’s just that you still didn’t find her dark side. Try break up with her, if she is a yandere she will try to kill you, then you can die happy.
What would you do if a yandere was in love with you? How would you react?
Well, I was faced with this situation once when I was in high school in year nine. We had a new boy in our class. He seemed somewhat shy, but he was really nice. After a while, I made friends with him. He wasn’t a big talker, but eventually, he did become one.
After school, we walked the same way home, and this was where things started to get weird. After three months of knowing him, he started flirting with me quite often. This was red flag number one. I didn’t really care; I thought he was joking.
A month later, he asked if I liked him, and at the time, I did have feelings for him, so I said yes. Eventually, flag number two came in: if we went together to hang out or go on a date, anyone who talked to me would glare at them. I didn’t really think this was good because my friend said that her boyfriend tends to those two.
Eventually, he started threatening my friends behind my back by talking to them in private or by message. My friend even told me about how he had threatened her to never even speak with her. I thought she was joking, but she looked terrified.
I pulled him up about it and told him what I found out. He immediately said he had never done anything like that in his life, but I ended the relationship. After that, he stopped going to school for a couple of months, and then, all of a sudden, several friends started avoiding me. Even if I tried to talk to one of them, they would immediately start speed walking.
One of them even asked if I just avoided them in total. The same month, another one of my friends moved schools entirely. Eventually, I was in year eleven, and I heard no word from my ex. I just assumed he moved school, and that’s when flag number four kicked.
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I started getting messages from him saying how much he knew I missed him and how sad and miserable my life was without him. I thought this was a pathetic joke, so I ignored him, but then they got worse.
Several weeks passed, and several messages had gone through. Eventually, he found out I was working at a local cafe in town that night. I got a message saying how happy I looked at work and how cute I looked.
Eventually, I started getting anxious about leaving my house, so once I finished uni, I moved. I haven’t heard a word since, but if you were in my shoes, this isn’t a nice feeling.
Conclusion
A yandere is a girl (or a boy) who is very sweet and kind in front of their love interest and can be violent to anyone else because they love that certain person.
They would usually fall in love with that person because they are either kind or funny and whatnot.
They’ll kill anybody who goes near their senpai. Take Yuno Gasai from Future Diary, for example:
Yes, this is her! Anyway, hope that answers your question!
What is a yandere?